Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!

Divorce Prank - 
"When circumstances step in to create a prank."

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@8/91 My first husband of nearly 20 years had left the 3 kids and I on food stamps and about to be evicted.  He'd been threatening to drive from CA to Las Vegas to take the car, our only transportation, for himself. He arrived with his girlfriend while I wasn't home. As I drove in the garage, our oldest daughter stepped in the garage to whisper, "Mom, Dad's here." I drove quickly out of the garage. He ran out the front door and took a flying leap to the back rear right corner of the car, expecting to stop me! He rolled to the ground, I kept driving, hid the car, and called the police.

He limped in the home yelling at our teenager and much younger kids, "Your mom hit me, now she's going to jail!"

The police called my home. My ex yelled, "HELLO!" thinking it was me. "This is metro police. Is Tara [our 18yo daughter] there?"

After our daughter hung up, my ex was yelling, "Great, your mom called the police. Now we're both going to jail!"

I didn't realize his girlfriend, KK,  had also been in my home. She was now watching from her car as the police and I arrived.

The police helped me pretend to go along with his idea of buying me a $350 junker to trade for the nearly new car the next weekend, giving me time to consult with an attorney.  

As I sat there with the police quietly urging me not to object, my ex didn't take any of his stuff packed in boxes in the garage. He took the 5 videos of my family of origin movies and the tool box my son had made me. I never got the toolbox back. It was 2 years before he consented to return the videos.


"Contrary to popular myth, abusers do not suffer from anger management problems. They manage their anger just fine -- whenever there are witnesses." S.C. Elgin, Ill Dear Abby's column 3/8/2001


The next weekend he arrived with his best friend and the police. They had driven in the $350 junker car from CA to Las Vegas in the sweltering heat of summer with no air conditioning.

The police knocked on the door. They were not the officers from last week, and had no knowledge of what happened last weekend. I asked that one of them come in to talk to me.  They were wary of what I could possibly want.  One officer agreed to come in. I handed him the restraining order and  a note for my ex's girlfriend and his best friend that if they trespassed on my property, they'd be arrested.

They drove back to CA in the junker, again in the heat of summer with no air conditioning.

A week later CPS visits my home while I'm at work. Our 18yo daughter is babysitting our 3 and 6yo daughters.  The CPS officer is surprised. The "caller" said the house was filthy, the kids not eating, the kids eating what they could off the floor, that I was an incest survivor in delusion locked in my bedroom for hours at a time.  The caller didn't mention our 18yo daughter who would have been watching the girls if it had been true that I was ill.  My daughter calls me at work, I call CPS and make an appt for them to visit the next day.

I have the girls upstairs as the officer arrives. I angrily describe the past weekend with my ex and the restraining order. She asks me, "Who called the police?" I replied, "I did." Then she assertively asks to see our 6yo daughter.  The officer asks her, "What did you eat last night?" Angela happily answers, "Spaghetti! I had 2 helpings." The officer asks her, "What did you eat this morning?" Angela answers, "Cheerios!" Angela leans over conspiratorily and whispers, "I snuck a 2nd helping."  The officer lets Angela go back upstairs and tells me, "I don't normally tell people this, but you need a copy of this report for your divorce."

I wrote my ex that the police had helped me to mislead him in order to get him served with the restraining order,


 and that CPS cleared me.                  

 What sort of flowers say, "I promise to obey the restraining order?"

9/25/94 My ex writes me, "Actually, I didn't file a fraudulent report with the Child Protection Services. The report they investigated on was not the one I filed."

"Revenge may be the ultimate compliment. It means you impacted their life so much they had to get back at you. Revenge may be the ultimate hallmark card." Oz, HBO

"Had these men been prepared to give up their repression, such acts would never have occurred. Sadly, they are not prepared to do so; and as soon as they themselves become fathers they are in a position to take revenge on their mothers with impunity - under their own roofs, on their wives and children, beyond the reach of the law." Breaking Down the Wall of Silence by Alice Miller



09/01/2001 " My ex tried to pick up my car with a tow truck.  I went out and told the driver to leave.  My ex called the police they told him it was civil.  My ex took a tire iron to the car smashing the windows and beating it to a pulp.  I called the police and they told me it was a civil matter and not a crime for someone to beat up their own property.   Sometimes you win and sometimes you win a damaged car.  I called my insurance company told them what happened they cut me a check for the damage I then gave him the car and used the check to get a new unsmashed one.  When we went to court I explained that he had possession of both cars and I was forced to get a new one so I was given an increase nana.  lol.  Crime does not pay."



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