Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!

Divorce Prank - 
"Effectively creating an environment to protect yourself from their intrusions."

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Men are not the only

deadbeats.
mrsbeat_s.gif (18980 bytes)

"She" can be one too!

When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of  "her" deadbeat  mentality also.

Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in the best interest of the

 child.

 

 

 

Summer '99 dh won custody. 

Bm tried to convince ss what terrible parents we were. He'd finished his school year with his mom with 2 D's.  Homework at bm's home used to take 5 hours a night.  Bm would sit at his side monitoring everything.

At our home, we had a strict 4-6pm homework with the door open, his using the timer and accomplishing something every 10 minutes.  His grades were improving.   He learned to do homework in a timely manner on his own.

I don't remember what the conversation was about, but ss told us, "I was just talking to mom about how unreasonable you both are."   Bm, her mother, and ss think that's supposed to change our behavior. It doesn't. And we don't get offended by what she thinks. What she thinks is often askew. 

We made it clear our boundaries were staying in place. 

I think it was the next day that I went up to check that the kids were doing their homework. My girls were, and I knocked on ss's door to tell him it had to be open. I went across the hall. I don't think he knew I was still there. I heard, then saw him quietly close his door. I opened the door, repeated the boundary, and sternly told him he'd lose his door if he didn't do what I say.  Ss remarked unbelieving that I would do that.  I repeated, "You'll lose the door if you don't keep it open when I say to." 

My 12yo came downstairs to quietly tell me ss had closed the door again. I grabbed a screwdriver and took his door off the hinges. Ss was shocked and appalled that I would actually do that, and that he was going to be without privacy. 

I always let dh know over the phone asap what's going down so we can be united in dealing with something like this. Ss ranted and raved for awhile trying the same tactics his mother or her parents would use to get me to put the door back on. Those tactics don't work here. I warned him the next thing he'd be losing is his phone.  He wouldn't stop. He lost his phone.  I warned him the next item would be his computer.  

Dh came home. Ss was now trying to be reasonable. We both stated he'd now lost his door and phone for a couple of days. Life went back to sanity.  Ss understood we weren't going to be manipulated by his mom or him - til the next attempt. But the lesson is sinking in. 

In a later conversation bm was again trying to manipulate ss to stand up against us.  Ss just calmly repeated, "That's not in my power."

School year 2000 - ss hasn't needed my input. He's doing his homework in a timely manner on his own and doing well. 

Concerned Stepmom 

Google

dh - darling husband 
bm - biomom 
ss - stepson 
sd - stepdaughter 
dd - darling daughter 
ds - darling son 

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