04/06/2001 This past week we had 2 trips to emergency with the cat. She was
vomiting and nearly catatonic (mmmm....I'll have to look up that word.)
They gave her fluids, meds to stop vomiting, sent her home. $200.
Two days later same symptoms, she hasn't been eating or drinking. Ss
hears us worrying about paying for this visit. He says, "I'll ask mom
to help pay cuz she loves her." Oh yeah, that's all we need. To have
to consult with her on the cat too. No.
At the vet's we're sitting after midnight in the lobby alone,
receptionist at her desk, ss flips, "How are you paying for this?!?
It's my cat! I have a right to know. Does this mean we won't be able to
eat?!?" We told him this is our job to figure out. He won't let it
go. I finally get in his face and tell him, "You either behave or I'm
taking you home." He angrily stews quietly for 5 minutes, and moves
to the other side of the lobby to sit alone. When visitation was improved
'95 ss used to think all kinds of things were his job to fix - an argument
between my daughter and I, dh and I arguing, dh and I discussing plans. We
told him he didn't have to fix this, and he said one day, "At mom's
house I do."
The vet estimated barium xrays, blood work...$650. Ss eyes the estimate
quietly, his eyes bulging. We're resigned to having to figure out how to
pay for it.
Barium xrays showed nothing. Blood work showed a minor bladder
infection that is common, so antibiotics. They anestesize (sp?) her and
check her soft palate. She'd somehow planted a sharp 3 inch blade of grass
in her soft palate. Vet didn't charge for a variety of stuff so the bill
was only $350.
Awhile ago bm nicely called dh. She was concerned about what classes
he's signed up for next year. When she had custody, ss had D's, on
Ritalin, she'd sit beside him nightly for 5 hours doing homework. He now
has nearly straight A's, no Ritalin, manages his own homework in a more
timely manner, heading in to honors classes next year. Ss likes to tell
his mom, "I'm doing homework" when he doesn't want to talk to
his mom. She's under the impression he is horribly burdened with homework.
She is concerned about his "load" next year. She thinks we're
trying to make him do too much. Dh explains ss's not going to have 0
period next year, and he's just taking the classes the teachers say he
All year bm tried to sabotage ss's involvement with robotics. But once
his team won regional and national, and bm could brag about it to
everybody, she was suddenly willing to cooperate. Bm agreed to ss
attending 6 week summer school for robotics class, and negotiating making
up the 1 week by weekends. Dh asked if she could pick up ss 8am instead of
8:3am the Sat we took exchange student to airport and she said yes. (The
court order says weekends are 6pm Fri - 6pm Sun, but she wanted
stipulation that she could pick him up between 8:30am - 9am Sat mornings
cuz she didn't want to pick him up Fridays after work.)
I guess she took that to mean that from now on she could dictate pick
ups and drop offs.
Last night she told dh, "I'll be there to pick him up Friday
between 5:30pm and 6pm. We have plans, and I'll let you know when he's
available for you to pick him up Sunday night." Dh said nicely
assertively, "The court order says you can pick him up Friday night
at 6pm, and I'll be picking him up Sunday 6pm." She didn't argue.
So this morning on the way to school ss says, "I have to do my
laundry Thursday because we're going to Fresno." I didn't reply cuz I
didn't feel the need to.
My thoughts were most weekends she wants him to do his laundry at her
home cuz she makes a big deal that she's the only one who does the laundry
correctly, and why didn't she just say to dh, "We're traveling to
Fresno and I'd like to pick him up early. Is that ok?"
I don't think ss has mentioned the cat to her yet. Dh will probably
hear about it after their trip to Fresno.