Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!


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Men are not the only

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"She" can be one too! When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of  "her" deadbeat  mentality also.

  Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in the best interest of the child.    

2/5/2001 "This past week ss was scheduled for Robotics each night til 8pm thru 4 next days, so I offer to wash his clothes, and offer his stepsister to clean the cat box. He refuses. We won't do it right.

He's home early, about 5pm each night instead of 8pm, manages to do his laundry so he has socks for the week.

And today his socks arrived in the mail.


Concerned Stepmom


2/16/2001 Ss says he must skip 2 hr robotics meeting cuz tons of homework. I ask him, "What's the homework?" A 4 pg dbl spaced report. I ask, "How long have you known about it?" He says a few weeks.

I've learned to verify w/teacher. She says he's had 7 weeks to do the report. He's got all his notes and the report should only take him a few hours.

Dh tells him he's not going to miss robotics, he's doing 2 pages tonight, and 2 pages Mon nt when he's home from biomom.

Biomom doesn't let him do homework at her house - it takes away from her time with him.

Biomom had called dh last night cordially explaining she needs to talk to ss before she picks him up Sat morn.

So I have ss call her 5:45pm after robotics, before homework. He usually talks to her on his phone upstairs, but when he has to call long distance, he has to use my phone.

I hear him say resentfully, "(stepmom) won't let me miss robotics and I have tons of homework. Any free time I want comes last."

Grrr...he neglects to tell her he's known about it for 7 weeks, it'll only take a couple hours, his dad firmly told him the boundaries his dad personally demanded.

I don't say anything. It wouldn't help. We'll continue to enforce our own boundaries, and biomom will always want to believe what helps her feel like we're terrible parents and she's rescuing ss.

Concerned Stepmom


02/22/2001 I snail mail bm the email from ss's english teacher, "Sounds good--it worked. I've done something similar with my daughter. No snack when she gets home until she finishes one easy assignment. She does it quickly because it's easy and because she's hungry. And, doing it gets her going with the rest of her homework after her snack.

(Ss) will learn that he'll get free time when he starts doing his work more quickly. You've already made such wonderful improvement with him since September. It used to be that I didn't see the work. Now I see the work, and he's doing it on time. He'll undoubtedly be successful, especially since he has such a brain."


03/01/2001 "

Ss has 5 A's, the highest grade in English and science. He learned that he'll be going in to honors English and Biology for his sophomore high school year. Great news.

Tonight he left a science report til the last minute. Bm calls the kids' line. My daughter tells her, like any other time if he's doing homework, that ss can't come to the phone right now. Bm demands to know, "Has he had dinner yet?!?" My daughter says no, they're still cooking it.

Bm tries to make an issue that our family doesn't eat dinner by 5:30pm like her family, and that ss isn't allowed to eat dinner til geometry's done.

Bm calls 8:30pm, my daughter tells her he's still doing homework. Bm yells at my daughter, "You put him on the phone right now!"

You'd think she'd have learned by now. We have our boundaries in place. My daughter lets me know I need to take the call.

I say, "(Bm)?" She pauses, "Yes!" I said, "He's doing homework." She demands to talk to him right now. She says we must let her talk to her. I reply, "He has 24 hours to return the call." She flips, "That's not in the court order!" I hang up.

She calls our phone line. I answer. She says, "I want to talk to (dh)." I said no and hung up. I've never done that before.

She calls dh's cell phone. He sees who it is and doesn't answer. She calls our line. We don't answer. She calls again. Dh answers. Bm says, "Why is (sm) answering the phone?!?" Dh calmly says, "Cuz I'm watching tv." Bm demands to talk to ss. Dh responds calmly, "He's doing homework. We don't let anything distract him from that." She flips, "If he's getting distracted then he should be on Ritalin!" Dh hangs up. (When bm had custody he was getting D's, and increased Ritalin was her solution for everything. Since dh got custody, no Ritalin.)  I think bm wants desperately to argue, intrude, or dictate what goes on at our home - whether it's in ss's best interests or not.

Ss had dinner at 7:45pm, and finished the report by 8:50pm. He doesn't know about the phone conversations. Dh calmly tells him his mom called and asked that he call back. Ss said he'd call her tomorrow.

The last time she "needed" to talk to him she was cordial, and I had him call back the next day at 5pm. She "had" to talk to him to tell him she'd be picking him up at 9am instead of 8:30am. It was something she could have left a message about."

Concerned Stepmom


dh - darling husband 
bm - biomom 
ss - stepson 
sd - stepdaughter 
dd - darling daughter 
ds - darling son 

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