Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!

 

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Men are not the only

deadbeats.
mrsbeat_s.gif (18980 bytes)

"She" can be one too! When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of  "her" deadbeat  mentality also.

  Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in the best interest of the child.    

 

Trace Adkins Every Other Friday At Five lyrics

(Steven Dale Jones)

One out of two ain't gonna make it
Those are the odds these days
And in a world of statistics
He's left tryin' to survive
'Til every other Friday at five

He counts the days and then the hours
'Til he can hold his babies in his arms
And they'll be watchin' out the window
When he pulls up in the drive
On every other Friday at five

For forty-eight hours they're with him again
But on Sunday afternoon he's out of time
Some folks call him a deserter but his kids know he'll arrive
On every other Friday at five

So let's not put 'em in the middle
And play tug-of-war with their little hearts
But let mamas and daddies
Smile hello and wave goodbye
On every other Friday at five

For forty-eight hours they're with him again
But on Sunday afternoon he's out of time
Some folks call him a deserter but his kids know he'll arrive
On every other Friday at five

And they'll be watchin' out the window
When he pulls up in the drive
On every other Friday at five

 

 

 

 

 

 

12/07/2001 Here we go again.

She let dh know tonight that she won't let ss leave her home a day early in order to attend this year's robotics important hours long kick-off meeting at the end of xmas break.

And if the championships are during ss's time with her, he won't be going.

Concerned Stepmom

 

01/06/02 Dh picked up ss at biomom's home.

01/15/02 2 small sample cans of cat food still in the original plastic wrap are on my kitchen sink.

I knew bm or her mother had insisted ss pack up the sample cans of cat food and take them to our home. Ss probably "found" them in his backpack, and just now put them in the kitchen.

I take the cans out of the wrapping and put them in a cupboard out of the way for emergencies. The cat eats dry cat food all the time without a problem. I don't mention it to ss or dh.

Bm wants us to feed the cat her choice of food.

She has her own cat to feed.

But more than anything she wants to be able to intrude into our home in any way.

That night I had a dream. I dreamt that we're in our home, and suddenly bm appears out of a secret bedroom in our home we didn't know about. She's personally interfering with everything going on in our home. Suddenly there's many, many people in our home. We can't get rid of them. We struggle with convincing them of rules and laws to get them out of our home.

I woke up shaking my head about the dream.

When bm had custody ss's homework thruout elementary school, and 7th grade jr hi, took 5 hours every night of bm sitting by ss dictating to him all he's to do. He had D's. Her solution to any problem was keep him from any contact with his father, and increase the Ritalin. Dh most of the time saw his son may be 3xs a year, and rarely was allowed to talk to his son on the phone.

Since dh won custody ss is off Ritalin and handles his own homework in a timely manner. One of the ways we accomplished that is that there are no interruptions during homework, including a phone call from his mother. She would demand to talk to him immediately, stir things up, or grill him for 40 minutes about every detail of his life and our life. The kids have their own phone line, and usually bm has no trouble calling and getting hold of ss. However, she is NOT happy that while he's doing homework ss is not allowed to answer the phone, and my daughters tell bm they'll tell ss she called. The court order requires a phone call to be returned in 24 hours.

Last night my daughter told bm that ss was doing homework and she'd tell him his mom called. Bm demanded to talk to dh.

Bm was furious that we were "keeping" ss from her. She was convinced that dh, my girls, and I are hiding ss away from her, and that we don't give him the messages. Bm said ss must still have ADD if he has difficulty returning to his homework after a phone call. She said "we" (meaning dh and her) must take a look at his school load because ss has way too much homework to do. Dh was calm and firm. He told her ss finishes his homework every night within 2 or 3 hours, that my daughter has the same load as ss and is also involved in robotics, and that the rule stands, no phone calls during homework.

I told dh I didn't understand people who do the things she does, and doesn't feel any guilt about. I don't understand her demanding appropriate behavior on our part without her noticing the irony.

Dh makes sure ss gets the message, and when his homework was done he told ss to call his mom.  Ss says, "She's paranoid about both of you."  At first I was like, "Why's she paranoid about us?!?" Then it finally occurred to me - that's the clue that she's recognizing the irony of her expecting appropriate behavior from us.  She doesn't feel guilty about her poor behavior all these past years, and she's sure that we'll behave as she did.

The line was busy. Dh insisted ss try again.

After the phone call ss marches downstairs to snap at us that his mom has let him know that he is to be in charge of his own life, and he will no longer participate in robotics.

Ss likes to tell his mom that his homework is overwhelming and that he can't possibly participate in extracurricular activities. There are times my daughter answers the phone and since ss is done with homework she tells ss to get on the phone. Then ss tells his mom he can't talk cuz he is doing homework.

Bm tried to undermine his robotics all last year, and yet she and her parents attended the regional robotics competition when the won, and she wanted his medal afterwards. Ss explained he had to wear it to the nationals. Bm insisted on getting copies of all national pictures ss took. She spoke to her friends and family proudly about her son accomplishments.

Dh firmly told ss that he will be finishing his participation in robotics, and they argue and discuss for 40 minutes the benefit of extracurricular activities. Dh points out to ss how impressive it is to college recruiters and employers that his robotics team won regional and national last year, and that ss was one of 7 chosen to be on the team that won nationally. Ss says he can't go to the nationals this year because he's at his mom's over Spring Break and she has already said she won't let him go. We point out that nationals are not during spring break.

Ss eventually sobs that he'll never be good enough. He heard that you must have a 4.2 to get in to UCLA. He wants to spend more time trying to be social and getting dates rather than participate in the extracurricular activities.

Dh points out that the requirement for 4.2 is not true, and I insist ss check out what he heard with his advisor. Dh repeatedly tells ss he loves him and he's proud of him.

Ss doesn't realize all the gains he's made. Girls have had crushes on him since 8th grade. He had a wonderful girlfriend for 3 months this year. Robotics has a couple of girls who have crushes on him. He's got A's, is in honor classes, tested in 97 percentile in PSAT's in this his sophomore year, interned in his 8th summer as a programmer at a dot.com, has volunteered at the school's ISP 3 hrs a week as recommended by his advisor and will be able to work at that ISP this summer and get paid for it, and robotics will be a glowing recommendation on his school transcript.

Ss finally says in his own words, "I don't think mom's thinking of the future."

Well, neither is ss. He's a teenager. He loses sight of the big picture. He doesn't see all the many ways he has improved so much socially and academically.

Dh told him it's his job to make sure ss gets thru high school and takes advantage of opportunities to be exposed to a variety of experiences socially and academically.

Ss always insists he wants to go to a 4 year college out of state.

Bm wants him to live with her after high school and attend the liberal arts college near her.

And ss may indeed choose to retreat to old familiar behavior.

We'll be available if he wants to choose to continue to get on his own two feet.

Concerned Stepmom

Google

dh - darling husband 
bm - biomom 
ss - stepson 
sd - stepdaughter 
dd - darling daughter 
ds - darling son 

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