1/15/2001 quotes from recollection not transcript
"I repeat (and repeat and repeat and repeat and...) this mantra:
DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT.
My x claimed OVER AND OVER (AND over and over and) that she told me things. She never did. What she DID
do was go **OFF** on me repeatedly in front of other children.
Finally, it occurred to me:
"gee... if I wanted to be screamed and cursed at by this psycho B!+C# I'd have stayed married to her!!"
From that day forward I have I flatly refused to "talk (read: stand still and smile while she vents) with
I say "PLEASE put it in writing." and walk away.
Every time she comes near me I take the cam-corder off my shoulder and hold it under my arm (like a football)
pointing at her as I say, loud and clear, "I am recording this interaction for my own protection and
for the purpose of future litigation."
If she calls I say "I am recording this interaction for my own protection and for the purpose of future
She stopped pushing to "talk."
Meanwhile I send her (1) a written letter every week, mailed by a notary and with a written certificate of
service on the back. In the letter I detail everything (if anything) which has been spoken and included the old "when [we last came within 1,000
yards of one another] you did not send a note and did not otherwise attempt to communicate with me"
followed by - and this was the CLINCHER -
"if you do not agree with my recollection of these events please provide written clarification within 7
days of receipt of this letter. Otherwise I'll assume that my recollection of events is correct."
When she sends a note, I open my next WEEKLY one by saying "Thank your for your letter of (date) received
on (date)" - then I touch a point or two of what she said in it.
The bottom line is that I left a trail of her refusals to participate in joint parenting that Hellen Keller
could have followed. The judge (and the court-appointed psych) had no problem at all.
She put the nails in her proverbial coffin with her own lies.
Years ago she "needed" a restraining order to "protect" her from me.
Then she claimed she was telling me things when she did not.
When I started with the letters she responded "why can't he just TALK to me" and proceeded to tell the
judge it was MY fault she did not communicate - she found my letters "intimidating."
She went on to say how she finally stopped trying to talk to me at all because of my insistence on
documenting (via video or audio) all of our in-person interactions. The judge literally stopped her and
"lemme get this straight... you say you're still afraid of him."
Judge: "He says "please don't talk to me, write me a note" but you want to insist on talking to him because
you find his LETTERS 'intimidating'.
She: (a little tentative) "yeeeessss..."
Judge: "and when he insists on documenting the verbal interactions YOU FORCE UPON HIM you find THAT
'intimidating as well?"
She tried to hem and haw, he gave her the "JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION" and got "yes." in response...
Judge: "Seems to me like your feeling of 'intimidation' is actually generated by the
documentation, not by HIM at all"
She responded "only 'cause I know he'll twist what I say all out of proportion and try to use it against me
Judge says "HE'LL twist the letters you write or what you say on the recordings and use it against YOU?"
Judge: "but you feel ok with one-on-one interaction which is totally undocumented and becomes 'your word
against his' in court?"
Judge: "Then why the restraining order??"
She was SLAMMED!! Lied herself right into a corner...
My Atty proceeded to slam her with entry-after-entry in letter-after-letter - it was OBVIOUS why we were
unable to successfully co-parent.
The BIGGEST reasons the judge gave for awarding me with SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY was that (1) "It is plain from
the record that the blame for the failure of the joint custodial arrangement rest squarely at the feet of
Mrs._Dad and (2) It is plain from the record that Mr._Dad will be a better custodian of the children's
relationship with their mother than she has been of their relationship with him.
DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT.
Cross-reference and compare.
Highlight the web of lies and deceit.
Show how it HURTS THE KIDS.
DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!!!"
SIGNED He-who-must-not-be-named... - not even by e-mail address...