Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!

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Men are not the only

deadbeats.
mrsbeat_s.gif (18980 bytes)

"She" can be one too!

When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of  "her" deadbeat  mentality also.

Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in the best interest of the child.

Dh won custody summer '99. In a school assignment, ss writes about wanting to commit suicide a year earlier. Teacher calls me alarmed.

Dh asks ss about it.  Ss just sobs. Dh said, "Ok, we don't have to talk about it now, but this weekend we're going to talk about it."

I faxed the pediatrician the story. He referred us to a therapist, we made an appt for Monday.

On the weekend we gently ask again. Ss tells us he went to a jr hi dance. His grandfather came to pick him up.  His grandfather had been smoking in the car and ss didn't want to get in.  Grandfather left ss at school. School had to call asking them to pick up ss.  At home bm and her parents are all arguing with ss. Ss said he wanted to commit suicide. Their response was grounding him for 2 weeks, especially from any contact with his dad.

Ss remarked that unlike his mom and her parents, he knew we wouldn't ignore it. (Unlike bm and her parents who also kept hidden from dh that bm suffered from bipolar since teenage years, didn't get her treated, thus the nearly horrific incident with ss at age 9 months that won dh custody.)

Ss and I go to the Monday therapist appt.  I'm having to fill out the form with many questions, including details ss doesn't know yet, i.e. his mom's bipolar condition and her time in jail.  His eagle eyes and ears are trying to pick up all info.  I'm trying to step outside for privacy. The therapist comes outside to get us.

Ss stumbles thru his story, and isn't clear. I've learned to be able to let go, and I let ss stumble until therapist asks for my help. I ask ss, "Are you having trouble telling the story cuz I'm here or cuz you don't know him (pointing to the therapist)." Ss says it's cuz he doesn't know the therapist.

I tell the story. I tell our response.  Bottom line, therapist said he felt we were handling it all appropriately and ss didn't need another appt.

Dh matter-of-factly wrote a letter to bm telling about the school assignment, what happened between ss and us, and what happened at therapist's office. Funny, she never responds to those letters.

I wrote therapist about bm's bipolar condition, her time in jail, and why I was outside answering the questions on the form in order to give therapist a reality check, and thank him for the visit. I cc'd pediatrician.

Concerned Stepmom

 

Google
dh - darling husband 
bm - biomom 
ss - stepson 
sd - stepdaughter 
dd - darling daughter 
ds - darling son 
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