Divorce Pranks - First Wives Club; Don't Get Mad, Get Even!
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Men are not the only

deadbeats.
mrsbeat_s.gif (18980 bytes)

"She" can be one too!

When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of  "her" deadbeat  mentality also. 

Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in the best interest of the child.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

'97 Dh, his daughter by wonderfulexgirlfriend, and I attend ss's elementary graduation. We sit in the 3rd row, to the right facing the stage.  Out of the corner of my eye I see grandparents lurk in, slink along the wall from the door, to a back row on the left.  A little bit later I see bm do the same.

Ss comes in with his class. We happily wave at each other. Then his body stiffens and he looks around for bm and her parents, afraid of being caught. His class sits on the floor in front of the stage. We can still see him and we all happily wave at each other. 

Graduation over, I had seen bm slink out early. I see grandparents leave early. We suspect they won't let us see ss.  The wave of the crowd takes us right to ss and his grandparents. I've never met bm or her parents. I hadn't planned it, but I reach out my hand to grandpa, introduce myself, and he shakes my hand. I reach for grandma's hand. She abruptly crosses her arms angrily and glares at me.  *shrug* No skin off my nose. I sense grandpa is in trouble with grandma for shaking my hand. 

Bm had already left for her home. The grandparents reluctantly let us say hi to ss. They won't allow him to take us to meet his best friend. They leave. We go visit with his teacher. 

Concerned Stepmom

 

Summer '99 dh won custody. Bm calls the kids' phone line asking for ss. My daughter tells her he's sleeping. Bm exclaims with alarm, "Why is he sleeping?!? He never sleeps during the day!"

My daughter says with some sarcasm, "Because he's tired?!?" Bm is quiet. My daughter tells her she'll have ss call when he wakes up. 

A few minutes later bm calls back demanding my daughter wake up ss. I get on the phone and tell her he has a stuffy nose, took a Sudafed, fell asleep, and he'll call you later. She demands 3xs to talk to ss. I finally hang up. 

She calls dh on his cell phone complaining that I wouldn't let her talk to her son. Dh tells her he wouldn't have wakened ss either.

That afternoon bm's mother calls on our phone for ss, telling him that Sudafed is terrible and we're terrible for giving it to him.   Ss passes on to us his grandmother's message.

I take ss to the doctor the next day just to be sure. The doctor says he can go to school, and just take Sudafed. Ss is shocked. He's used to being allowed to stay home when he has the sniffles and is embarrassed about the scaly nose. He's used to believing bm and her mother are always right. He's stunned by what the doctor said. I chuckle internally. 

Dh wrote bm about what the doctor said, and that they are not allowed to grill my daughters, ask them to do anything, and they must call for ss on the kids' line. 

No more drama over the phone. 

I fax the pediatrician my story about what was happening behind the scenes and thank him for the visit.

Concerned stepmom

ps. Over the years of severe visitation denial on the part of bm, she or her parents used to eavesdrop on all phone conversations.  Ss would quietly hum, "Mmmmmm, waiting for them to leave..." or tell his dad, "Did you hear that? Do you get the feeling someone's listening?" Dh would tell ss, "That's ok. I don't have anything to hide."  Or bm and her parents would stand beside ss telling him what he could say or couldn't say.

Since dh won custody summer '99, most of the time we don't even know she's called ss on the kids' line.

Concerned Stepmom

Google
dh - darling husband 
bm - biomom 
ss - stepson 
sd - stepdaughter 
dd - darling daughter 
ds - darling son
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